Today was Hope’s “Goodbye” visit with her birth mom. It was so much easier than TPR, not anywhere near as sad. We went in without any real expectations and praying that she showed up—she did and far more than what we could have asked for. I think this was the first time that we had seen her birth mom not under the influence of anything.
I had prepared a book giving her some information about us and the Dizzler. This was the first time that we had given her any photos that included us as well. Birth mom got there at 6, and we were scheduled to drop Hope off at 6:15, so birth mom had some time for counseling before the visit. I got her there right at 15 after, Hope had fallen asleep on the drive over, so I had to wake her up and then she was shy. The therapist invited me to take her up stairs to see birth mom, I did so and spoke to birth mom a little bit and then as Hope woke up a little more, I moved her right in front of her birth mom. I then snuck out after about 5 minutes. I could tell that BM was in decent shape and the counselor was right there taking pictures for us the full time. I left and went home to pick up mom as she had a headache when it was time to take Hope to the visit.
The hour went by very quickly and mom and I made it back to the visit center and we were buzzed in and waited for a couple of minutes for BM & the therapist to come down stairs. BM went over the gifts that she had given her including a book with a special letter in the cover, a bible with all of her sibling’s names and dates of birth, a set of bible stories, and a special poem. She then shared family photos and baby photos of Hope and her sister as well as her ultrasound. We also found out that Hope is 1/4th Native American and 1/4th Italian. We then spoke for a little longer and then we hugged at the end of our time. BM then stayed for some intensive therapy to ensure that she is ok after everything.
We didn’t think that she would have had a goodbye visit if we hadn’t pushed once we heard that BM was out of jail. We sent our caseworker an email emphasizing our concern that we had promised to do our best to facilitate a goodbye visit if she got out of jail before the adoption was completed.
After going through the process, it was totally worth it. We couldn’t have asked for a better experience and we felt a real sense of closure. It is going to be a long time before Hope has any in person contact with her BM, so we are glad it was so positive.
On a side note, the house just went on the market this week, and we are technically not doing showings yet, but we had one today and a second one scheduled for tomorrow. No feedback from the showing today. No interviews yet for the hometown, but we are still working towards that. We don’t have an adoption date, but we should have one by the end of the week. Still walking in faith- it’s our only option!
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