There’s no place like home for the holidays.

Today was the day that we went to our home town of Fort Wayne for holiday visits. We celebrated Christmas with the grandparents on Mindy’s Dad’s side then we met with my folks at the mall for pictures with Santa. Then we saw the carousel and Hope rode the giraffe while her cousins rode the other animals nearby.  After that we went to visit the Santa Clause on the side of the old Fort Wayne National Bank Building which holds a lot of meaning for us.  It brought mom and I back to our childhood as we shared it with Hope for the first time.  Even though we have made the pilgrimage down to the Santa every year since we left the Fort, it felt so special seeing the awe in Hope’s eyes.  It is an absolutely amazing piece of Americana.

 

So the season has begun

The Christmas Season has begun, and as of Monday December 13, I am self-employed.   I am working on developing the new site, but it is far from up.  In the interim, I have been learning just how hard it is to accomplish things when Hope is awake-- even with both of us home.

I wanted to share the first unofficial photo of the family.  We have very few copies of this photo, so please don't be offeneded if you don't get a copy.  We will have our official family photo taken in the spring when we have completed the adoption process.  

The Christmas Season has Begun

The stockings have been hung by the fireplace with care and the first candy canes of the season have been eaten with the first of three Christmas, but today I unwrapped my biggest gift of all for this year—my new company.  My contract extensions have ended with the bank and I am officially counted among the ranks of the underemployed.  I have chosen to create my third business.  In my past, I started my first business when I was just 18, so it only makes sense that in a time of change that I lean on my entrepreneurial instincts and couple them with my MBA and knowledge of social media & corporate marketing.  I will be actively pursuing long term employment while working my own business.

I am taking tomorrow off to spend time with my girls and hopefully relax a little before I jump into the job and client search!   When Hope joined our family, I was working a crazy amount of hours with the launch of a new website for the bank for the first two weeks and wasn’t able to give the attention to Hope that a new dad should. So, I am grateful for this chance to finally spend some quality time with the girls.  This holiday season will be a good one since it will be the first time that we have had a complete family, but it will be a little anxiety filled as I embark on the journey of building a client base and seek out a full time position.

This weekend in addition to Christmas at my mother-in-law’s, we also had Peanut’s 1^st birthday where we were able to really connect with so much of Hope’s sister’s family.  We are so blessed to have such a great new extended family. We could not have guessed how amazingly we would be accepted into the K family.  Everyone has been so great and excited to see Hope and how she is doing in the one on one environment.   We truly feel like our family doesn’t fork, it multiplies.   Mom & I can’t wait to share our full family with Ladybug’s parents!   Everyone in our family is really excited to meet Ladybug’s family at Hope’s birthday party in January.

We knew that when Hope joined our family that we would be forever joined to Ladybug’s family- but we had no idea how great of a family we were joining.  So to all of the members of the family- Thank you!

Update and photos

Thankfully we were able to get the car in to be fixed today and it was a little more expensive than we planned, but at least we didn’t need to have it towed in.  We also had the windshield wiper arm temporarily fixed until the snow starts at least (and it was a free fix).    Dad has an interview tomorrow and has hope that next Friday may not be his last day at his current job, but he is working very hard to find something that will be more enjoyable and secure.   Here are a few photos from this season!

Giving Thanks—OHHH YEAHHHH

So this year we are looking forward into a future that we are not certain of and many people may see the negative— a day before thanksgiving roof leak and finding that we need a new roof much sooner than our home inspection stated, a new alternator scheduled for our main car next Tuesday (hopefully it holds out that long), new windshield wiper gears for the other car, oh and yeah- the impending joblessness.  This year appears to be a time of darkness, but this is the most exciting year that we have ever had as we are a complete family this year for the first time ever.  This time last year, I was recovering from a very bad long lasting reaction to a medicine that he should have never been given, and Mom was just starting to realize that she was unable to tolerate any disease modifying medicines.  We were still actively seeking a way to pay for a private adoption and had just figured out a way to do it in two years.  We still prayed that last year would be the last one that we would have as a family of two plus the dog, but we couldn’t even conceive that we would have Hope in our family.  So despite the outward appearance that we are struggling, we couldn’t possibly be more grateful this year for the blessings that we have had come into our life, as well as for those people such as Hope’s sister’s adoptive family who cared for her for 8 months while God moved us into a position to have her join us, her caseworker, her therapy team, and of course her birth family who remind us that things could always be worse.

 We are so incredibly blessed to be where we are in our life together.  I especially am grateful this year for my incredible wife who has been through the ringer this year to be able to get her in position to be a full time mom.  She and I have always been open and actively talking with each other building our relationship, and this year has been no exception. She has had an amazing ability to go from fighting huge cognitive issues caused by her MS which has stopped her from the job she loved to becoming a stay at home mom to the daughter we love in literally less than four days.  She still shows that she has the same issues but the miracle behind this is that she uses a different set of skills to take care of Hope.  Outside of that, she has still been amazing at facing her struggles and working to overcome them.  When life gives her a challenge, I am always awestruck by her ability to navigate it and make the best of the situation.  She has gone from getting legislation passed and keeping MS meds available for Indiana Medicaid patients to working to ensure that Hope has everything she needs to excel and amaze her therapists.   There are times when I know that she gets frustrated that she can’t sit down and work filling out forms that she use to help clients with, but when I come home and hear my daughter pronounce the word “DAD” completely, I can help her fill out a lot of forms for that type of reward!  

So as we face what is an uncertain year, we look back and realize that every year is one of great uncertainty, so we look forward to next year with gratitude for the blessings that have brought us where we are today and faith that we will be looking back next year awestruck with where we have been.  Our hope and prayer for everyone who is reading these words that you are as blessed as we have been and that you can continue to grow in your personal journey with God.  God Bless you this Thanksgiving weekend.

New update

Greetings all….  Sorry to have been silent for so long.  We’re on God’s wild and crazy ride!   Mom continues to deal with working through her disability as we both work to learn what her limitations are and try to let each other know when we’re getting close to them.  Hope’s visits with her birth mom have been stopped, and she has been doing very well.   She is staring to become more comfortable in her environment and is demonstrating “extreme comfort levels with her environment” by walking around frequently with her eyes closed or blankets over her head.  Her bonds have been established stronger than what we thought was even possible.  She continues to improve with her comfort level with strangers and strange environments as long as one of us is with her.   There are certainly times when she only wants her mommy and mom is more than willing to cooperate.  It has been amazing to watch her grow in her comfort with us and in her abilities.  What a blessing she has been and what a blessing Mom has been to her.  In the time that she has been with us, she has gone from babbling very rarely to constantly babbling and now even talking.  Tonight she said her first complete phrase with all of its parts “All Done” she said repeatedly.  When it comes to her walking and stability, she is now very confident in all of her movement and is fearless when it comes to running with and without her braces—only new shoes throw her off.  We don’t think  that she will need them for much longer.   She has done so well in the short time that she has been with us.  It is amazing how attached she is attached to mom and I – but mostly mom.   She is an amazing blessing in our home and we remain very prayerful that the court will see this and decide that our home is the best place for Hope.

Thanks!

One interesting week down and another to go.  Mom’s MS has officially been evaluated and believe it or not, but her short term memory is within normal range, but she can’t work under deadlines, and she needs to do one task at a time.  The formal report has not yet been produced, but the one thing that we know for sure is that we have a lot of new information to review and there is still lots of uncertainty in our immediate future for Mom and her disease.  The big thing that is increasingly evident is that we’ll have adaptations to make to our daily living to ensure that Mom and I can genuinely share our life together as our wedding vows had stated.

We have Court this week, but due to requests for extreme confidentiality I am being hyper-vigilant in not disclosing anything about this proceeding.  We are cautiously optimistic that we and the court will be on the same page as to what is in Hope’s best interest.

On a final note, I am grateful to my loving wife for staying by my side for the last four years.  We have been on top of the world together and feeling like the world is coming down on us, but no matter what cards life has dealt us, we have always had a full house.  Our marriage has been a testimony to how we must trust in God as He will provide.

Our One Month Anniversary!

Sorry that it has been so long since my last update, but it has been crazy.   I recently completed a huge project at work and I have now been able to concentrate on being dad.  Life is starting to settle down and most of our family and friends have been able to meet Hope.  Our routines are starting to get firmed up more and more as each day passes.  

This weekend, I had a unique opportunity to  go to my first ND game but I had only one ticket and it was one of my bosses that invited me.  Talk about a great game to go to as I am a U of M fan when they are not playing ND.  It was an incredible time and a huge opportunity that I could not have asked for to have gone better except for ND to get another touchdown and another couple of tickets for my girls.  We had great seats and we even had a rainbow near the end of the game that went from one end of the stadium to the other.  This was a once in a lifetime experience for me to go see the two schools that I really enjoy play each other in such a historic stadium.

Mom was trying to complete some paperwork for work and she was truly struggling with it.  As I sit back and have to watch as she has such a hard time with stuff that six months ago would have been second nature I just want to do it for her.  I have the typical male response—how can I fix this?  For all of the partners of those living with someone who has MS, that is the constant question—with every flare up and even more with the long term problems, how can I fix or help with your issue.  The answer is almost always the same, there is nothing.  For Mom, she is able to still thrive with her new work with Hope and it seems to help keep her distracted.  She is missing work and feeling sadness when she thinks of it and is confronted with the cognitive issues that caused her early exit from the job she loved.

Mom & I are working to get use to a new budget and the daily living as a larger family.  The Dizzler is working at getting enough attention, but he really struggles at time letting his little sister have daddy time.  He definitely gets more exercise, but he is not use to being kissed on his back so frequently  by the little one.  They love to laugh and play, but his allergies have been out of control this month.

One last note, we are celebrating the one month unofficial anniversary of Hope being placed with us.  It has been a month of great joy and growth as we have matured into being parents and recognizing that we are actual adults. During this time Hope has gotten to meet all of her new realitives and friends. We have a huge journey that we still have before us, but it has been a great start! 

Hope and one of her cousins

Why are you crying lil'sis?

The Right Side of the Rainbow over ND Stadium

A house filled with Love.

Today was one of the longest days, which answered the question how much love can our house can hold, and the answer is a whole lot! It was amazing how many people would fit into our home and even more amazing how many of our friends and family came out for a big “Welcome Hope” party. There was a massive out pouring of love and adoration proving that even though we have no biological family living in our town, we are never alone in our town. Thanks to all of those who came out for the event! For everyone else, call us for your chance to meet “Hope.”

Say my name, Say my name…

It has been just over a week and adjustments are setting in and settling down. Hope has began working on her vocabulary as well as getting off and on the furniture. Today she had a huge break through, she said her actual name with just missing one small sound. Keep in mind that we didn’t change her real name, just her screen name here. Having her say her name was a major break that we didn’t see coming. She has demonstrated an incredible amount of knowledge and intelligence over the short time that she has been with us, but hearing her say her name was incredible and then when she repeated it in her shy and unsure way was so cute. We can’t get her to do it for the camera yet, but hopefully soon! She is now fully recognizing mom and dad and pointing to the right person when we ask her to, so the transition is setting with her very well. We think we figured out what has been causing her allergies to be active- Watermelon of all things!

The view I love the most is from the back deck looking in.

In my life, I have been blessed with many memorable views that have been etched into my memory including from the view from stage receiving my MBA realizing that I had made it through college, our first Christmas tree where we had to forego the traditional tree due to a move within a week of Christmas, the view of our nation’s capitol as we walked around making a difference for the millions of people living with MS, the view from the top of a mountain that I climbed, but the view I’ve loved the most until just recently, that of my wife as she entered our wedding ceremony walking towards me with my best friend at my side. Yesterday, my best friend, his wife, and their three children came over to meet Hope. We had a great time and Hope came out of her shell pretty quickly with his kids and we had a great cook out on the deck that he and I built along with my step father-in-law last year. This great day lead me to think about how our life has gone.

We had lived a life of ups and downs as all people do, and last year our focus had moved from expanding our family to working to develop our careers. That was suddenly changed late last year as God was working in our life to prepare us to refocus on family.

Last night, while my best friend and I were out picking up on the deck, we took a moment and thought back to what we had dreamed when we were in high school, and we realized that while it is great to have a career and great job; what matters the most is what you see when you look in from the back deck.

This was the dream that I had when I was young, not the view from my office or from the top of a mountain, looking from the back deck in and see four smiling and laughing kids along with two beautiful women and knowing that even though years and miles have separated us, my best friend and I can still share this view.

By the way, the transition is going very well for Hope, she has bonded very strongly with Mom, but she and Dad need to continue to work towards building the strong bond. She has been dealing with a few little allergies. Thanks for all of the care and support!

The Story of the Double Rainbow

As we have said previously, we are pretty dense when it comes to signs from God, he is pretty blunt with us then smiles on us when we follow his intended path with double rainbows.

When we were married, we had a double rainbow visible from just outside our reception hall, when we put the offer in on the house, we had a double rainbow over the top of it. Needless to say, being placed with a child is a huge occasion—was this not meant to be because we did not see a double rainbow? We had to look where God’s will truly was. When we met Hope and decided it was a good fit, her sister’s (foster) dad gave us some toys to bring back that her birth mom and others had given her. We were on cloud nine with a little question in the back of our heads about the uncertainty that comes with any adoption or foster placement. Plus, where was our double rainbow? We continued and kept going with all of the craziness that goes with becoming parents crammed into less than a week and the pending retirement of Mom.

The next night we had our first sleep over and she did very well despite sliding out of bed once that evening, then she went back to her sister’s house during the day. We then went back and met with her PT to see how far she had come, then she came home with us for a bit longer and met the neighbors. Hope went back again to Ladybug’s house for even shorter, and then she had to say goodbye to Ladybug & Peanut. She gave Ladybug and her (foster) mom each a necklace and kept one for herself. Then they came to Hope’s new home!

There are so few times in life that you know looking forward that your life is really about to change forever and Friday was one of those days. Hope was joining our family. She came home and the living room became the playroom. As the Dizzler and Hope began going through the toys that she had brought with her and while in the back of our mind, we still wondered where our double rainbow was until they pulled out two Care Bears, one large, one small each with a rainbow on their stomachs. So it is, that we have our double rainbows, just not where we expected them to be. And if you look at Ladybug’s mom’s blog, she has photos of a rainbow we saw when we were licensed as fosters and started looking for our forever child. It just happens that she only was able to see one rainbow where we were able to see 2. Talk about God putting a nice bow on this story!

This photo was of the same rainbow as Ladybug's mom has on her blog. -- AMAZING!

Welcome

First of all, welcome to our new blog to all of the followers of PERAMBULATIONS through Pittsburgh and From The Crib...Diaper Duty and BEYOND!! This blog will pick-up on the story of SnuggleBug and help hopefully take away some of the fear of becoming foster parents and dealing with Multiple Sclerosis.

About Us:

We’re a family of four including Hope (formerly known as SnuggleBug in other blogs), Hope’s Mom, Hope’s Dad, and The Dizzler who is a 3 year old Boston Terrier- Beagle mix who was adopted 2 years ago.

Hope’s Mom was diagnosed seven years ago with Multiple Sclerosis and has been on aggressive treatments for her disease pretty much since she was diagnosed. We really won’t go into much details on her treatment, but we feel that you must be your own advocate and find the right doctor who will find the right balance between risk and reward for you.

Mom and Dad were raised as Christians but not as active as we are now. Our faith in God is our absolute foundation that without it, we can’t exist even though we often fight our faith/ brain barrier. We are active in the Methodist Church, but God frequently has to show us his way very directly. He often shows us his approval of our choices by showing us double rainbows- we had one at our wedding reception, we had one over our house when we put our offer in on our house and we had one in a non-traditional way when we were matched with Hope.

Hope is 19 months old and is in the process of being adopted by us through the State Department of Child Services. We are just at the beginning, but her former foster parents and sister have helped pave the way for us to go down the path to adoption. She came to us from a wonderful family that is in the process of adopting her sister, but they had already started adopting a second child when Hope was removed from her birth mom. Due to all sorts of difficulties, her sister's foster parents had to ask for help with Hope.

We became very close with Hope's sister "Ladybug's" (foster) parents as Hope transitioned to us from them. Needless to say, the decision for Ladybug's mom & dad to split up the sisters was incredibly tough, but with the support of DCS and the courts, it was the right one to make. We are deeply connected to her sister's parents as it is critical to both girls that they maintain contact.

Hope's Mom had been secretly struggling with her MS over the last few months and had been struggling with the decision to leave her job due to symptoms of her MS. She had been working with her doctor and resisting her doctor's recommendations to leave the job she loved for a long time, but her disease made the decision for her during the week before we met Hope. This means that as Hope has been transitioning into our family, Hope's Mom has been transitioning out of a job she loved to become a stay at home mom.

And this is where our story will begin….